What To Do When The News About Trans Americans Is Traumatizing

The headlines are everywhere right now:

“Anti-transgender bills introduced in more than a dozen state legislatures”

“Texas Republicans want to keep transgender women out of women’s school sports teams”

“Montana Republican targets transgender youth”

“Biden’s trans rights agenda is bad news for women and girls”

“Republicans in Congress carry on Trump’s legacy of attacking trans people”

“Political correctness could threaten women’s sports”

One day after President Biden signed an executive order, making it clear that his administration would eliminate discriminatory policies put in place by the Trump administration, a new hashtag sprouted: #BidenErasedWomen.

As the Washington Post reported, that’s because Biden’s directive called on agencies across the federal government to review existing regulations and policies that outlaw sex discrimination, and to revise them, to clarify that “sex” includes sexual orientation and gender identity. That’s a broad interpretation of last summer’s Supreme Court ruling, Bostock v. Clayton County, Ga., which the previous administration narrowly defined as only applying to employment.

“Children should be able to learn without worrying about whether they will be denied access to the restroom, the locker room, or school sports,” Biden wrote in his executive order. “Adults should be able to earn a living and pursue a vocation knowing that they will not be fired, demoted, or mistreated because of whom they go home to or because how they dress does not conform to sex-based stereotypes. People should be able to access healthcare and secure a roof over their heads without being subjected to sex discrimination.”

That first sentence about children and sports ignited a firestorm that has only emboldened the small number of very loud opponents of transgender equality. The word “small number” is accurate, according to pollster KFF, because last June it found a large majority of Americans — including seven out of 10 Republicans surveyed — think it should be illegal for either employers or health care providers to discriminate against people because they are lesbian, gay or bisexual, or transgender.

• 9 in 10 in ten adults agreed with that Supreme Court ruling, saying it should be illegal for employers to fire or refuse to hire people because they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual (90%) or transgender (89%).
• About 9 in 10 say it should be illegal for doctors or other health care providers to refuse to treat people because they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual (89%) or transgender (88%).
• 85% say it should be illegal for health insurance companies to refuse to pay for health care services for people who are transgender.

And yet the headlines scream that women are being erased — easily disproved by the sheer number of tweets by TERFs, women who proudly identify themselves as anti-trans activists, but object to the acronym for “Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists.” Op-eds, many of them written by cisgender straight white men, shriek that girls sports are endangered, that action must be taken to stop this radical, leftist LGBTQ agenda.

Which does not exist.

The only thing people who support transgender rights want, is for them to be. To be treated equally. To be given opportunities. To play sports. To get hired. To live someplace. To have a doctor treat them as the person they know themselves to be, and to help them achieve that physical reality.

They want to be accepted for who they are. To enjoy life, liberty and pursue happiness.

Which is hard, especially when the headlines scream that you are a danger. A threat. And of course add to that mix social media referring to trans people as a “perversion.”

Former NFL player Marcellus Wiley poured gasoline onto that fire Friday with a tweet declaring his support for segregating transgender athletes into a separate category apart from male and female competitors. You know, like the Negro League?

His tweet, which garnered six-thousand likes and more than 1.6-thousand comments, included the birthname of a transgender NCAA champion whose legal name is CeCé Telfer. Many trans people call that “deadnaming,” something far worse than referring to a woman by her married name following a divorce; Out of respect, you just don’t do that.

Wiley tweeted that he was aware of the pushback he received from some followers, and he was interested in debating this topic. But trans people ask: why is their existence even a subject for debate?

Oh, and as far as the military ban goes, a Gallup poll found 71% of Americans were in support of Biden’s move.

So the conundrum is, polls show a majority of the public is on the side of trans Americans, but some small-minded people with big-ass platforms align themselves with religious zealots and bigots who are not, and news media see clicks when they post stories about the topic. Fox News, for instance, has put this issue on blast, according to award-winning Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters blogger Alvin McEwen.

For transgender, non-binary and gender non-conforming persons, all this can be traumatizing.

This is why Trans Lifeline exists. It’s a non-profit resource for transgender people, run by trans people, offering support in times of crisis. That means it’s not just a suicide hotline, but a place to turn when life is hard, when coping with even the day to day is a struggle, and when going forward seems impossible. More than 106-thousand callers have been helped by Trans Lifeline operators since its founding in 2014.

The hotline number is (877) 565-8860, open 24/7.

Donations to help keep Trans Lifeline functioning can be made via its website by clicking here. The 501(c)(3) non-profit lists its financial information at this site.

Full disclosure: The author of this story is transgender and has called Trans Lifeline.