Indian Matchmaking: Cringe or Binge?

“Every strong woman who needs a matchmaker is not weak!”

By Aparna Shewakramani

In a world where I was applauded by friends and family for my educational pursuits and career successes, I was never one to get the same “pat on the back” for reaching those societal milestones like getting married and having kids. Mostly because I never reached there.

I concluded in my 30s that I needed to do my best to find someone through any means, including blind dates, dating apps and even a matchmaker. In a world of possibilities of how I could meet Mr. Right, hiring a matchmaker was just another avenue opening up to me. I saw it as efficient and common sense. Wouldn’t you do the same for your next career move? Apply on LinkedIn, reach out to your personal and professional network and even hire a recruiter? Certainly. And my matchmaker was my recruiter and my headhunter for love.

And in that analogy, my astrologer was my career coach. He could potentially guide me to make “strategic” choices as a coach, or in this case, focus on my “auspicious periods” as an astrologer. For me, it’s ok to admit that I was searching for a sign from above (or from an astrologer) that the reason I was single wasn’t solely about me but also about things much out of my control – like my stars. It was a mental shift that asked, in world where we believe we can create all our own outcomes, maybe we also have to step back and let destiny do some of the heavy lifting. Who knows? Maybe the right timing and a little matchmaking help could find me that life partner I have been searching for. It’s certainly worth the shot!

Aparna Shewakramani, 35, a lawyer from Houston, hates men without purpose, and was trolled for being ambitious, and then consulting an astrologer

“Every man who refuses ‘rishtas’ and loves fashion is not gay!”

By Pradhyuman Maloo

“Definitely gay.” “Gave me major gay vibes.” “He is closeted, he just doesn’t know it yet.”

These random statements provide a glimpse into my Instagram’s comment section, tweets, Reddit theories and most surprisingly, articles written by leading youth platforms after watching me on Indian Matchmaking.

Just because I have a distinct sense of style, I enjoy the finer things in life, I am brutally honest about my feelings, I am taking time to find my life partner and I refuse to give into societal pressures of getting married “in the given time”, people think of me as a man who is confused about his sexual orientation.

Is it so difficult for Indian society to accept men who are well-groomed and have good etiquette?  

I would like to ask these questions: Can’t straight men be interested in fashion? Can’t straight men take time to find their partner? Can’t straight men cook? Can’t straight men be creative and design jewellery? Can’t straight men be soft, sensitive and well-mannered?

I have friends from the LGBTQIA+ community. You need to understand their realities and struggles in real life situations. These stereotypes and biases disrespect them. It’s not easy for them. We need to be their allies and support them instead of putting them down.

I cannot change people’s thoughts and opinions, but most certainly your thoughts reflect your mindset, morals and attitudes.

For people who are still curious, for the 150th time, no, I am not gay or bisexual.

Pradhyuman Maloo is a Mumbai-based jewellery entrepreneur, who is equally picky about food, girls and clothes.