Council Post: Nine Important ‘Don’ts’ When Mediating Employee Conflict

Every business has employees who aren’t on the same page from time to time. Whether it’s clashing personalities or differences of opinion, conflicts can arise at any point, and it’s up to the manager to help mediate them.

If left unchecked, these conflicts could cause serious division between colleagues and lead to a toxic work environment. To help you find the best way to handle them, nine members of Young Entrepreneur Council explained what not to do when mediating employee conflict and offered better approaches to take instead.

1. Don’t Assume Everyone Is The Same

Don’t ignore differences in people’s personalities and styles of communication. For example, someone who is naturally extroverted tends to be more open and forceful about expressing their emotions. A more introverted person may keep things inside and may need prompting to open up. They may find it easier to explain their side of the issue in writing. These types of differences can skew the way you see a situation. People are not all the same. While you should treat everyone equally and not make excuses for anyone, you should also recognize that people express themselves differently. Taking this into account can help you understand all sides of a conflict. – Kalin Kassabov, ProTexting

2. Don’t Focus On The Past

Try not to focus on the past. While looking to the past can be helpful, there comes a point where you need to start looking forward. Ask questions, such as: What can be done to solve the problem? What can be done to prevent it from happening again? In addition, while assigning blame can be helpful in mediation, focusing on just blaming someone keeps discussions and your company in the past. Mediation, on the other hand, looks forward to a better future. – Shu Saito, SpiroPure

3. Don’t Meet Separately

Don’t meet the involved employees separately. Not only is it bad from an optics perspective (i.e., you can be seen as taking sides or being sympathetic to one party), but it also gives each party a chance to polarize the conflict by evading nuance and presenting a more extreme version of their “take” on the conflict. I find that keeping interactions communal and involving all parties at all times forces every party to be more honest about their perspective of the events and keeps the discussion closer to the truth. Rather than having each party convince you that their position is correct and justified, your goal should be to find an amicable solution for all parties. – Tyler Gallagher, Regal Assets

4. Don’t Wait To Address The Issue

None of us want to deal with conflict, but it’s part of the job. One mistake I’ve seen a few business owners make is they don’t address these issues head-on. As a result, things can escalate, and the problem can become much bigger than it needed to be. So, my advice is this: You should always bring attention to problems as soon as you notice them. You’ll find that resolving minor issues is much more manageable than trying to conquer massive conflict in your office. – John Brackett, Smash Balloon LLC

5. Don’t Make It Personal

When mediating conflict, always remain calm and do not allow anything or anyone to rattle you. It isn’t personal. Your job is to keep your focus on solving the problem and keeping everyone else calm as well. Don’t let the details get to you and never raise your voice at others. Make sure to listen to all sides of the story before making a decision and coming to a conclusion. This allows you to be fair and use your best judgment. – Stephanie Wells, Formidable Forms

6. Don’t Assume The Worst

You should avoid assuming that the person with the conflict intended to cause problems. I follow the idea that you should always assume innocence, even when things are heating up. If you’re willing to talk through issues with this mindset, you’ll find that your team will open up to you because you’re respecting them by giving them the benefit of the doubt. When your team feels comfortable talking to you, it’s easy to solve problems, regardless of their origins. – Chris Christoff, MonsterInsights

7. Don’t Take ‘Sides’

Don’t enter mediation with the mindset that there are opposing sides and you belong to one while the employee belongs on the “other side.” Such an approach sets you up for conflict from the start. Instead, look for shared interests in your mediation with your employee. Truly try to understand what they want. Even when it seems like there’s a clear conflict, you need to go beyond the employee’s initial demand. For example, a refusal to work with a new person or tool may not be what it seems on the surface. The real problem might be that the employee feels unappreciated or worried about their position. When you look for real motivations and shared interests, you’ll mediate better. – Syed Balkhi, WPBeginner

8. Don’t Only Listen To One Party

An absolute no-no is to only listen to one side of a conflict. You need to speak to multiple parties and pay attention to every side before you come to the stage of resolving the conflict. When you do start mediating, you’ll have as much knowledge as possible and will do a better job of coming to a good resolution. – Blair Williams, MemberPress

9. Don’t Make Decisions Based On Emotion

Avoid making decisions based fully on emotion. In our company, we use key performance indicators (KPIs) to evaluate employee progress. When it’s time to mediate a conflict, it’s imperative we look at quantitative data to lead a discussion. For example, if an employee is upset, doesn’t show up or doesn’t complete a task, our plan of action includes looking at the dashboard and reviewing an overall scoring system to take a look at the bigger picture without emotion. Oftentimes, favoritism or bias comes into play when a leader uses sheer intuition and skips the metrics. It’s important to take a well-rounded approach and document and refer to the hard data when engaging with difficult conversations. – Libby Rothschild, Dietitian Boss

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