3 Secrets For Avoiding “Sandwich Generation” Stress

As baby boomers age, more people than ever are finding themselves in the Sandwich Generation. That term was coined in 1981 by social worker Dorothy Miller to mean people in their 30’s and 40’s, who were simultaneously caring for school-age children and aging parents.

While either end of the caregiver spectrum can be stressful by itself, holding up both ends can be so much worse. Juggling the scheduling demands and care needs of children and aging parents can be a nightmare, but since most Sandwich Generation members are also working full time, an employer who doesn’t understand the situation can add more stress. As a result, many family caregivers move to part time employment or take a leave of absence, adding financial stress to the equation.

Members of the Sandwich Generation are not alone, though. Millions of other households are going through this same scenario. There are resources and assistance that can help make this easier.

Here are four secrets to avoiding Sandwich Generation stress.

1) Ask for Help

First and foremost, ask for help. Ask other family members to help care for your aging parents, and schedule that time so all can coordinate and follow the agreement. This gives the primary caregiver some known, planned downtime for self-care and rest, which is vital if they are to continue to care for others.

Remember, you don’t have to do it all. Create a plan to share household duties, chores and errands across the whole household and family, and review it on a regular basis. This helps spread responsibility throughout the family and helps all family members feel like they are contributing to the elder loved one’s care.

2) Communicate

Keep your siblings and key family members who do not live in the same household aware of the condition of your aging parent. Encourage them to call or make personal visits. This can reduce the stress of the primary caregiver, helping reduce their burden. It also makes the aging parent feel more joy from hearing from and seeing their other family members.

3) Make the Most of Your Time

Take time to enjoy your aging parent. While this may seem difficult when you’re under stress, remember to make time for just enjoying being together. Planning a fun activity or simply taking the time to talk with them can reduce stress for both of you.

When you’re a part of the Sandwich Generation, it’s important to be patient with yourself and with your aging parent. Give them as much time as you can, but be sure to take time for yourself, too. Self-care of the caregiver is so vital, so don’t hesitate to reach out proactively for help.