The holidays are a time of joy, bringing together family members and friends to celebrate and enjoy traditions passed down from generation to generation. Although our gatherings may be much smaller this year with CV-19 variables, the benefits of exchanging gifts, gathering for holiday meals and conversation, and reminiscing about the past in person or virtually bring happiness and comfort. But oftentimes the holidays are a time of added stress and anxiety for caregivers.
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While it might not be obvious to others, caregivers feel added pressures of the holidays in many ways. They may feel anxious about exposing their loved one to health risks by having them join holiday celebrations. The risks of COVID-19 spreading during gatherings is very real, but there are also other concerns like the safety of traveling and its effect on their loved one.
Older care recipients may wish to travel and join in holiday gatherings, but the caregiver has to weigh the risks and benefits for their loved one, sometimes being seen as the bad guy or gal for restricting holiday travel and participation out of an abundance of caution. Families can assist caregivers by offering understanding and a helping hand.
The best gift you can give a caregiver is support, and these options can really show the caregivers in your life you care.
Offer caregivers your time and assistance with their caregiving schedule. Caregiving is hard even in the best of times, but around the holidays there is very little time for caregivers to have some time for themselves, even if it is just to enjoy a book or time alone. Caregivers need care too, but often neglect themselves and their own needs. Stepping in by offering to take over now and then will be appreciated tremendously.
Volunteer to assist the caregiver for an extended period of time, rather than an hour or an afternoon. It’s hard to enjoy the holidays when all you can think of is making sure your loved one is safe and happy. Offering to share some of the caregiving responsibility alongside the caregiver for a few hours, few days, or a week or more can allow the caregiver to enjoy the holidays too. Just knowing they have a friend or family member as a “care partner” to help them can make a huge difference and can lift the caregiver’s spirits.
Offer to take a chore or duty off the caregiver’s list. This need not be a major task, but any offer of assistance will be appreciated. Volunteer to take an older loved one on an errand or for a walk, offer to clean up after a holiday dinner or gathering, even doing their grocery shopping (whether in person or online) can be a huge relief to the caregiver in your family. Showing you care about the caregiver, in addition to the older loved one, means more than you can imagine.
Take your family caregiver on a short trip or outing. Caregivers rarely get to visit with friends or family without their loved one along. Even going out for tea or to a friend’s house is a major treat. Think about how you can show your support in a safe and COVID-19 compliant way, or ask the caregiver what they would enjoy most. People show concern for the older loved one’s well-being, but often forget about the caregiver’s needs.
Sometimes caregivers are reluctant to express their own needs or wishes in deference to the care recipient. A gentle push could help the family caregiver to open up, revealing the areas where they need help the most. Sometimes just the act of showing you want to support the caregiver in your family means more to the caregiver than you might think. This holiday season, your gift of support can make a caregiver feel cherished in their own right, and brighten their outlook during an oftentimes stressful time of the year.