How You Leave Will Shape Your Legacy

People will remember how you leave a job long after they forget what you did while you were on the job. 

Clicktotweet“People will remember how you leave a job long after they forget what you did while you were on the job.”

How you leave shapes your legacy. I’ve been telling executives this message for over a decade. At Vanderbloemen, we have helped guide over 2,000 leadership transitions. And I’m more convinced than ever that how you leave a job will shape your legacy far beyond what people imagine. Ever see someone leave their job poorly or with a bad attitude? Chances are you’ll remember that far longer than you can remember their work history. The converse is also true. Gracious goodbyes are remembered for a long time – especially when they are hard to give. 

At Vanderbloemen, we are predicting that 2021 (and even into 2022) will be a time of unprecedented job turnover. That means there will be a whole lot of people saying goodbye to employers and a whole lot of employers saying goodbye to team members in the coming months. For all of the articles you can find on how to get a great job, there is scant advice on how to say goodbye properly. Having watched goodbyes thousands of times, here’s what I’m seeing as the best practices. 

Realize that goodbye should be hard. I remember when I was leaving my church in Alabama to come to Houston for a new congregation. We had a great run in Alabama. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch, but it was a good run. And I just couldn’t imagine having to tell them I was leaving. I asked a bunch of mentors for an easy way to break the news, and then one older, wiser man told me, “Look, William, on the one hand, if you did a great job there, people are going to be hurt and mad. That makes goodbye hard. Your other alternative is that you did a bad job there, and everyone applauds when you say you’re leaving. Either way, it’s not going to be easy.” Somehow, hearing that advice and realizing that goodbye shouldn’t be easy made it more tolerable. 

Realize that all jobs are just interim jobs. Unless you happen to be on the team the day your company folds or sells, there will be someone who comes after you. I tell pastors, “every pastor is an interim pastor.” Every job ends. Even if it’s a 40-year tenure at the same company, unless the company folds, your role there is only temporary. So whether you are a team member leaving or a boss saying goodbye, realize that transitions aren’t just hard, they are inevitable. Coming to grips with that has made it so much easier for me to deal with losing a great team member. 

For those leaving a job:

1. Finish the work you started. Before making a transition out of a job, make sure you finish the job you were asked to do. 
2. Treat your successor the way you would want to be treated. There’s a lost art of writing to successors, and I think it needs to be rediscovered. While it’s not appropriate to tell them how to do their job, it is always appropriate to tell them the good things you remember about your time there and how you are available to help if they should ask. 
3. Realize you may have to deal with your previous boss in the future. Just because you are leaving a job doesn’t mean you won’t see or deal with your previous boss in the future. I’m consistently amazed at how small the world is, and how it is getting smaller every day through our hyper-connected technologies. And if there is one cardinal rule about dealing with previous bosses, it is to praise them publicly and criticize them sparingly, and only privately.

For bosses saying goodbye:

1. Become a sender. Saying goodbye to a valued team member should hurt. But the best bosses get over it and celebrate instead of just tolerating it. It’s not always possible, but when it’s a good leave, a gracious sendoff is always the right thing to do. How could you help the person leaving in their next job? This year, one of our longest-tenured team members left us. It was awful. But it was right. She’s taken what she’s learned growing our company and started her own marketing company, and I would bet it’s a success. I could get mad, but I’ve chosen to be proud. I realized a while back, that makes about the 7th company that former team members have started here in Houston. I suppose that could make me sad, but I’m more inclined to brag. By the way, when we send someone off with grace, future employees take note. High-quality goodbyes pave the way for hellos to highly talented candidates.
2. Take the long view. As mentioned above, realize you may have to deal with your soon to be former employee long into the future. In fact, you may get hired by them to do work somewhere down the line. And how you navigate your goodbye will shape their lasting impression of you. 
3. Never, ever speak poorly of your former employee in public. It’s not just bad form, it may put you in a precarious legal situation. Remember the advice above: Praise publicly. Criticize sparingly, and only privately.
4. Have long hellos and short goodbyes. The number one mistake I see in job transitions is that people hire too quickly and they fire too slowly. This also applies to people leaving a job. Far too many times I think that when people are nearing a transition to a new job, they think they should stick around for a long time before leaving. Some people even tell their boss they are leaving, but intend on staying another month before leaving. That shows ignorance on your part. Ask your boss how long she or he would like you to stay. If they leave it up to you, make it about half as long as your gut tells you. You are not as critical as you think, and once you’ve said you’re leading, it’s probably time to go on and leave.

If there is one summary statement on leaving well, it’s old advice from my mother. “Leave the place better than you found it.” I remember hearing that a lot. Maybe I’m just getting older, but I now find myself saying it a lot to my kids. I want them to find a career that when they finished pouring their lives into their work they can look up and say that they’ve left this world better than they found it. What if we approached every job with that attitude? What if we approached our goodbyes with that frame of mind? My guess is that if you make an intentional effort at a gracious, positive goodbye, you are paving the way for a gracious, positive legacy.