‘Make Peace With Discomfort,’ Says Oprah- Time To Find Courage And Lead Bravely

Bring to mind leaders you admire. 

Maybe it’s your current boss. Or a great from history. 

Lincoln. Gandhi. FDR. Martin Luther King. Mandela. Lee Kwon Yu. Mother Theresa.

They were bold in their vision.

They spoke candidly, but respectfully. 

They didn’t shy from tough conversations.  

They said sorry and owned what they got wrong. 

They had a purpose that transcended their pride.  

They made hard decisions. 

They listened well.  

They took risks. 

And when they fell short, they got back up, and pressed on.

Yet weren’t immune to fear. What set them apart was their courage to act in its presence.  

Courage comes in many forms and, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, it is the one virtue that guarantees all others.

We are not all called to lead countries or companies or social movements. Yet each of us is called to act with courage in some way. And not just for our own sake. 

As we navigate an uncertain path out of a pandemic, the world is hungry for people to act with courage; to lead themselves and others to higher ground.  So in the midst of this turbulent time, it’s vital to decide who we want to be as leaders, as change-makers, in our unique own way – in our communities, our teams (virtual as they may be) and diverse spheres of influence.  

Of course, it is easy to look to others – those with titled positions of formal power – to change what isn’t as we think it should be. Yet we cannot fix the problems we see around us if we’re abrogating all responsibility for them.  We must be a proactive participant in co-creating the future we’d like to live in; doing our part to address the deeper issues and inequities we might otherwise resign ourselves to. 

In Oprah’s Class of 2020 commencement address she said that each of us are being called to “ temper the parts of us that must fall away” and to “make peace with the discomfort of stepping into the unknown.”

If you’ve ever looked back and wished you’d been braver – spoken up, made that change, taken that chance – you know the strength of the human desire to seek comfort and security, not to risk it.  The lure of the path of least resistance, of greatest safety (at least in the short term) pulls hard against the higher inclinations of our nature to become more of the person we know, deep down, we have it within us to be.

Leadership is not the domain of the few. It’s but the domain of anyone with the courage to act with it. And each time you take action amid your fear, you dilute its power and magnify your own.  

When we don’t use our power to influence the world around us, we relinquish it for others to wield for us. So right now, make a conscious decision about who you want to be.

Will you let circumstances determine who you will be or will you step up and work to improve the circumstances?

Drawing on my latest book You’ve Got This!, here are my ‘Ten Commandments of Courage’ to help you rise above your fears and make the mark that only you can.

Ten Commandments of Courage

1.     Set a Bold Vision with a Big Why 

We fail more from timidity than over daring. Dare to raise your sights on a vision that aligns to your deepest values and compels you into bold, purposeful action.

2.     Take Responsibility

We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can always choose our response to them. Blame, self-pity and excuses are tempting. But only by taking 100% ownership for the state of what is not working – in your relationships, work, and world – will you have the agency to improve it.  

3.     Do What’s Right. Always.

Integrity is the only path upon which we cannot get lost. So be trust-worthy in all your dealings and resist the temptation to surrender self-respect for self interesting. But when you mess up (as you sometimes will) forgive your fallibility as you forgive others their own.

4.     Challenge Your Story

You create your stories and your stories create you. If the stories you’re spinning in your head aren’t moving you forward, then they’re holding you back. Challenge your best thinking and rewrite a new story empowers you and expands your possibilities for action.

5.     Be Humble 

Perfectionism and pride stifle creativity and possibilities. Be open to ‘unlearning’ what you think you know so you can ‘relearn’ what you need to know. A curious mind will take you further than a clever one. No one has a monopoly on wisdom. 

6.     Speak Bravely 

Conversations are the currency of influence. Yet the least comfortable are often the most crucial.  Speak your truth with respect.  If there is something you genuinely want to say, chances are someone genuinely needs to hear it. 

7.     Own Your Difference

When all you do is try to fit in you negate the difference your difference makes. Let go trying to conform, impress or being like anyone else. By embracing what sets you apart you make your biggest mark. 

8.     Be Decisive  

Fear of making a wrong decision can keep us making a right one. Committing to a course of action you will teach you more than cautious inaction. Indecision doesn’t make you more secure, it makes you less so.

9.     Embrace Vulnerability

Courage flows from confronting our deepest fears, not denying them. When you open yourself to the full spectrum of human emotion, you gain access to your deepest source of strength and forge stronger bonds with others.

10.  Surrender Resistance: 

Adversity holds opportunities to learn, grow, connect and create in ways we never could otherwise. By leaning into life’s curves and embracing its struggles, you transform your relationship to them and liberate your energy to focus on what lays within your control. There in lays your greatest power.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” So as you look toward the future, decide who you want to be for others, but most of all, for yourself.

Make peace with discomfort. Wield your power. Be a leader.

An international speaker on human potential, Margie Warrell emboldens people to live and lead more bravely. Check our her latest book You’ve Got This! The Life-Changing Power of Trusting Yourself hailed as a “book for these times.”