Dating is complicated. But a first date is always something special. Irrespective of whether it’s a meet-cute or a carefully planned blind date your friends decided to send you on, usually, there’s a little awkwardness that comes along with the first date tag. According to cupidudes, one can crack many dates online, but making sure that the date goes well is not as simple as snapping the date online. It’s familiar to almost everybody who is an active participant in dating life.
Your first impression of a person goes a long way in both your personal and professional life. But for people who have a tough time starting and keeping conversations up, this period becomes incredibly daunting and can leave a sour taste on your tongue. In this article, we will present you with 10 tips to get your first date conversation flowing.
10 Tips to Get Your First Date Conversation Flowing
1. Let them talk about themselves, but don’t stay quiet
The most common thing you hear after people’s first dates is them complaining about how the other person simply didn’t let them talk and went on and on about their interests only. While discussing yourself and your interests is a great way to help the other person get to know you, it’s also essential to be a listener, especially on your first dates where there needs to be an exchange of information and opinions and not just a dump. Make sure you exchange a little about yourself for every piece they discuss with you. In this way, there is a steady flow of conversation that continues throughout the date.
2. Ask about their interests and hobbies
Our generation has people passionate about something or the other. However, apart from their passion, people have various other interests and hobbies as well. For some, it may be reading or for others gaming. No matter what interests your partner has, it’s important to encourage them to talk and not dwindle their spark by being negative. Even if you don’t understand someone’s hobby, don’t criticize it but instead, try to develop an actual interest and hear their reasons for being passionate about it. Talk about your hobbies as well! People often let out the best part of themselves when they talk about something they love, which translates beautifully into dates.
3. Be honest about how you’re feeling
If you’re feeling tired due to a long day’s work, or if it’s the first time you’re out on a date and are feeling nervous. Talk about it. Give a hint of your feelings to the person you’re on a date with so that they know that outside influences are also at play for your mood. While people hope that their date feels like they are in a happy bubble with them, sometimes it’s difficult due to the hustle of life. But telling your date about your day will help the conversation keep going and put them at ease, mentally. Talking about your day often breeds more conversation and opens the table to a different career, family, and future talk.
4. Ask them about childhood or current pets
Pets are cuddly, cute, and the stars of many human eyes. Unless your date is a psychopathic serial killer or Cruella De Ville, they will have some opinion about animals. Research has shown that spending time with animals is a sure-shot mood booster, so conversing about them should have a similar effect, right? Pet conversations can be long and fun, with most bringing up family pets, the types of animals they would like to adopt in the future, and it can also sometimes lead to friendly debates on whether cats or dogs will be the next ruler of the Earth!
5. Ask follow up questions to their answers
To make sure your partner knows that you’re listening to them, don’t forget to ask relevant questions or make remarks related to whatever they are talking about. If they talk about their day, ask them for a few casual specifics. If they talk about the food, mention your favorites. Instead of starting a whole new conversation out of nowhere, make sure to connect previous topics for a continuous flow. In the same way, it takes two to tango, it takes two for a conversation!
6. Don’t be too formal
It’s easy to make a conversation sound like an interview on a first date. This holds true, especially when you don’t know the person beforehand and feel slightly pressured to keep the conversation going. It’s normal. Don’t fret over your tone too much, but make a conscious effort to change it if you start feeling like a school teacher. If you find it challenging to talk casually, make a joke at your expense. Chances are your date will understand how you’re feeling and not let your tone take over your personality.
7. Don’t be afraid of silence, don’t use your phone
In recent years, picking up your phone and getting ‘busy’ on it has turned into a defense mechanism. Whether you’re with friends, family, or on a date, if you start feeling like a conversation is heading towards complete silence, people tend to pick up their cell phones and get scrolling. Don’t do this. Unless it’s a life or death situation, stay away from your handheld technology and live in the moment. If it’s incredibly urgent, explain your circumstances, apologize and put your phone away immediately after using it. Remember, your date chose to meet you over a video call or personally because they want to spend time with you. Don’t halt conversations by starting another one online.
8. Have a healthy conversation on books, TV shows, or movies
Popular topics that almost everyone has an opinion on are books, TV shows, or movies. Even if someone has been living under a rock or prefers to meditate over using their eyes for entertainment, at some point in their life they have seen a show or read a book that has created a tornado of emotions in them. You see so many people on stan Twitter involving themselves in discourse over these topics because everyone has their own opinion that they enjoy expressing due to the storm of emotions they tend to induce within human beings. Discuss characters, scenes, feelings, and actors involved. Talk about the cover of your favorite novel. Or a fun tidbit that your date wouldn’t know about your favorite movie. These conversations are usually a hit on first dates because it connects people on a deeper level than just looks and personalities, and encourages long talks with a lot of discussable content.
9. Discuss music
Everyone likes to hear music. And everyone has different genre preferences of music. To some people, music is like breathing fresh air. It helps clear the mind, breeds creativity and soothes the soul. Like books and movies, music can help you get to know a person on a deeper level. Learning their favorite artists and genre through conversation teaches you a lot about their personalities and circumstances. If the place you’ve gone out to eat has music playing in the background, note it out aloud. Comment on the volume and type, and start a light conversation. Put forth your likes and dislikes but don’t be condescending about your date’s music taste. Recently there has been a massive influx of foreign music into the USA that may not be suited to everyone. But commenting negatively on it might cause your date to judge you and close up as an artist you’ve mentioned could be their comfort musician. Remember, you need to be accepting of others’ tastes!
10. Offer your light opinions on the date activity
If you’ve gone out on an activity that your date has chosen, make sure to talk about why you like the date idea. Comment on the little things you observe around you. Is it cold or hot? Is the food good? Is ice-skating hard? Is the movie fun? People like to hear when an outing they planned turned out nicely. Don’t be too critical about their choices, but if you choose the location, don’t praise your ideas too much. It’s important to be observant and have fun at the same time.
Closure
Dating is hard, no doubt, but certain tips and tricks can help make the time you spend going on first dates worthwhile. Unless you’re someone extremely picky, conversing with your date as a friend with romantic intentions is sometimes enough to get that perfect date. In this article, we’ve provided you with 10 tips to get your first date conversation flowing. Don’t be shy to express your feelings and be bold with your personality. No matter how much you try to change yourself for a first date, it’s simply not enough if you’re not going to be able to keep it up. Hiding behind polite questions and silence won’t do you any good in the future. Making conversation and keeping it flowing by being excited and curious about the person sitting in front of you is a great way to avoid awkward silence and pre-planned excuses. If you have any more questions for us, feel free to drop a comment down, and we’ll get back to you at the earliest.
