The Network, Which Isn’t a Green Day Side Project, Returns With New Music

The Network, a long-dormant new wave band that does “not” feature members of Green Day, has returned with their first music in 17 years.

“The Network were formed in the year 2003, fulfilling an ancient prophecy predicting that we, its chosen members, would issue a stern warning to mankind in the form of music,” the secretive band said in their manifesto. “Released as the album titled Money Money 2020, we shined the headlights upon the follies and vanity of mankind. Rapidly achieving fame and fortune, we had often been mistaken as the planet’s greatest rock & roll band, Green Day. This earthly comparison is almost as comical as the humans that inhabit this dying planet!”

After 17 years of silence, the Network recently activated social media accounts, announced they signed with Warner Records — also home of Green Day, coincidentally — and uploaded a chaotic track called “Ivankkka Is a Nazi” on their new YouTube page. That song, and three others, make up their new Trans Am EP, an appetizer before their new album — Money Money 2020 Part II: We Told Ya So! — arrives on December 4th.

Along with today’s arrival of Trans Am on streaming services, the Network also released a music video/teaser trailer for the EP’s title track. “Back in 2003 we, the Network, warned mankind of the fate they would meet in the year 2020,” the band said. “To no surprise 2020 is upon us and it looks exactly as our prophecy predicted…. We are at Threat Level Midnight.”

The Network’s conspiracy-minded six members — Fink, Z, the Snoo, Captain Underpants, Van Gough and, Baldacci — also penned a lengthy statement involving the “Church of Lushtology” and a time machine.

“After our mercurial rise and the foundation of the Church of Lushotology, we have seen riches beyond imagination, thus we abandoned the doldrums of stardom and focused our efforts on time travel and the salvation of things beyond the human grasp,” they wrote. “Within our travels through both time and space we have seen the futures foretold in the prophecy, and it is both disastrous and hilarious! Beyond these interstellar crossroads lie parallel dimensions where the oxymorons can create their own destiny! Choose wisely, for the devolution of man has always been a choice. The release of Money Money 2020 Part II: Told Ya So! will serve as the final lesson! Within the binary codes of this album exist the keys to our past, present, and future DNA! The Gods are laughing and it’s up to you to prove them wrong… You’re welcome… “

Trans Am EP Tracklist
1. Trans Am
2. Flat Earth
3. Asphyxia
4. Ivankkka Is a Nazi