Who’s Your Mamaw? Eight Leaders Reveal Who Guides Them During Trying Times

When attorney Russ Riddle faces a tough situation, he asks himself, “What would Mamaw do?” His grandmother’s wisdom helps Russ through trying times. I asked several people around the world whom I respect to answer the question, “What would [your own role model] do?” and explain why.

Here’s what they said, beginning with Russ.

Helping the less fortunate

My grandmother truly believed there is good in everyone. She believed that, she looked for it and she usually discovered what it was through her genuine interest in people and her contagious ability to converse and draw people out of their shell.  During this pandemic, we are seeing people’s impatience, quick temper and cynicism. It is easy to dislike them. But my grandmother would have liked them and sought the good in them underneath their rough disposition.

Mamaw had a servant heart and had a softness for those down on their luck. She sought ways to serve others in a manner that would preserve the down-trodden person’s dignity. She once noticed a man who looked through her garbage can out by the back ally. So she began making a sandwich each day, putting it in a baggie and placing it on top inside the can, just under the lid. The man would lift the lid, take the sandwich, smile and stroll away. 

During this pandemic, there are a lot of people down on their luck. They need our help. But they also need help in ways that don’t compromise their pride and dignity.—Russ Riddle, Dallas

Trying times are opportunities

My role model is my uncle. He had a well settled job in a government bank, but he pursued his passion in equity research and he is now a well recognized icon in the Indian capital markets. I have seen him work hard to achieve his goals in life and that inspired me to follow my dreams.

I will always remember the day when he cleared his equity analyst program and had to decide whether to leave a reputable job as a government official or pursue a career in a private organization. He chose to follow his dreams and moved with family to the financial hub of Mumbai, where he moved up the ladder to become a reputed equity analyst. He went through multiple economic recessions, but his philosophy in life was to always work hard work and keep calibrating himself to the needs of the future. This is what helped him pass through crises triumphantly. 

He inspired me to work hard and to consider times like these as opportunities to understand myself better and to fine-tune my professional skills.—Rohit Kumar, Head of Ethics & Compliance for India & Thailand, Baxter International

Focusing on others is powerful

Once upon a time I walked El Camino de Santiago de Compostela. The signs along the Magic Way read: “No Pain, No Glory.” My hip joints’ pain was getting more excruciating by every meter I walked. Around the 300th kilometer, I hit a crisis. And as it usually is, my chance to grow arose. An older Spanish gentleman suddenly walked passed me and empowered me with a few words I use in my coaching practice until today: “Take your attention of your own pain and concentrate on how you can help others around you.” I took my eyes off my feet and saw those in more trouble who needed me.

The Spaniard’s advice reminds me of the importance of where I’m putting my attention during the pandemic. Instead of putting it on my own pain, I place it on using my knowledge and skills to help others. To be specific, I offer individual coaching sessions to my organization for anyone feeling anxiety, panic or burnout. I have also volunteered to be a pro bono coach for both the medical staff and the general public. This helps me to stay focused on solutions and in a state of gratitude, helping others while helping myself.—Marcela Lendvaiova, Sr. Lead Training & Development Manager at AT&T, Bratislava, Slovakia (The views presented here are Marcela’s own and not those of AT&T)

Taking time to counsel

I’ve served under many excellent leaders, but the one I most admire is Army Special Forces Colonel (Retired) Joel Woodward.  He stood out in how he taught and lived by a few simple, memorable leadership principles that apply in every situation. In particular, he taught me that effective senior leaders provide four things: (1) guidance and direction, (2) resources, (3) “top cover” (mentorship that allows subordinates to take risks and make mistakes) and (4) obstacle removal. The best executives focus on these things, and he certainly did.

For example, the Army’s developmental counseling system is effective but labor intensive and rarely executed perfectly. Then Lieutenant Colonel Woodward—the 5th Special Forces Executive Officer (my boss) took the time to provide textbook perfect developmental counseling while deployed to Iraq.  His commitment to leadership development was the best I’ve seen. He inspired my self-confidence while also helping me identify areas for improvement. 

I’ve never forgotten that example, and I’ve tried to emulate it since then.—Dan Saumur, J.D., LL.M., Deputy General Counsel, U.S. Army JAG Corps, San Antonio

Putting people and relationships before profit

A Minnesota farm boy with a sixth-grade education, my grandfather started an auto dealership in the 1930s. Several times the business nearly failed. In fact, on a Wednesday in 1933 the bank told Grampa they needed his loan payment by Friday, or foreclosure was imminent. With that news, Grampa had no choice but to drive the last car he had in his inventory all around the area until he found a cash buyer. He finally sold the car, thus saving the business.

I remember, practice, and frequently share the powerful lessons my grandfather demonstrated: be gutsy, have faith, work hard, do what’s right, make and cultivate friendships, and treat people well. Do these, and no matter how bleak things get, you’ll likely find the opportunity that saves you just around the corner. —Patti DeNucci, author of The Intentional Networker: Attracting Powerful Relationships, Referrals & Results in Business, Austin

Easing the suffering of the body and soul

Ruth Pfau was a German doctor and a nun. She lived a life of conviction. It was to ease the suffering of the body and soul. She spent 55 years in Karachi, Pakistan fighting leprosy. Her service was selfless. It was not for money or medals. Her dedication and devotion to duty was exemplary. She dared to care without prejudice and took pride in serving humanity.

I met her twenty years ago, and was inspired by her passion and perseverance. She is my role model. Nabeel Goheer, Assistant Secretary-General at The Commonwealth, London

Seeing your life as a work of art

Andy is my life coach and role model. He was the CEO of a successful business and a man of strong moral standing. In 2004, I was actively looking to finance my college education, since I had recently moved from Colombia. A friend referred me to Andy. In our first meeting, he introduced himself, handed me a math test, and left the room. After 30 minutes, Andy returned and was impressed with my answers.

We discussed my career aspirations. Before leaving the meeting, he handed me a check for my tuition and said “make me proud.” Since then Andy has transformed my life path. He motivated me to strive and to uncover my true potential. His emotional support and presence at every milestone in my life continues to inspire and motivate me to find ways to “make him proud.” One of his favorite quotes was, “Life is a work of art, and you are the artist. With every new and different experience you make your ‘painting’ richer, fuller and more interesting.’”

He encouraged me to dream big, take risks, fail, get back up, try again and always give my best. All those experiences have contributed to my ‘work of art’ called LIFE. Angelica Valencia, Executive Director at JPMorgan & Chase, Inc., Tampa/St. Petersburg

Using your future self as your guide

Who inspires me in these trying times? Me in the future.  That moderate, experienced, wise woman who struggled but stood, prayed and honorably went through challenging times. Maintaining optimism, trust in humanity, gentleness and empathy, no matter what was happening. This is how I’d like to define myself over time. I wonder what I would say to myself if I had an opportunity to come back in 10-20 years time and give myself advice?

If only I had the chance, I would hold myself tightly and quietly say: “Never fear, take chances and make choices that have a moral foundation. Believe in yourself and make it happen. Remember, the best is still to come.” As Ian MacLaren once wrote: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”—Valeriya Aver, Head of International PR, Softline, Moscow

A final word

Who’s your mamaw? Who gives you guidance during trying times like these? Write to me through my website (see bio) and I may include your story in another column.

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